I put the F in WTF!!!

After staying out in the woods in Da Qiao, an 8 hour car ride through “roads� that make dirt paths look like clean, fresh pavement, and freezing my a$$ off, I was like, “I am going to Thailand asap!�…

I arrived in Bangkok a few nights ago… I haven’t even had time to write or do anything because I have been so busy the last few days… lets put it this way, Bangkok is one great, great place.

I have to say, Asia in general just seems like it is the place to be for me… I can’t seem to go wrong here. Bangkok is yet another example, here are some details.

I met this girl my first night here… pretty much within minutes of being in the city… she was incredibly beautiful, 22, and she totally loved me… like she basically assaulted me the minute she saw me… I was actually pretty surprised… I have kinda been hanging with her the last few nights… she always has these really, really beautiful girls with her and I never really asked why… but I also noticed everywhere we go people stare at us like crazy.

Well it turns out this girl is a star on some Thai TV series… I was going to go to Phuket and she also mentioned she is being flown down there in a couple days to do bikini shoots for some mag for a week… so she said I should come with her and just stay with her since everything is comped.

She was really excited the other night and called me, she just closed a deal with Chatelaine (I think that was the mag.. one of those big girl mags) for $2m Thai Baht (that’s about $40,000 USD) to do the next cover next month… she will be flying to Indonesia to do that… she asked me to come there too but I have to be in Beijing and then Van/NYC and maybe SF on business during that time.

But here is where it gets just really crazy… she invited me to a Halloween party tonight with her but told me she is a bit scared because the whole party will just be celeb actresses and models and she is worried I will leave her for one of them… which actually, she should be a bit worried 😛 But, in talking to her she mentioned that the last couple of years she has been “confusedâ€? and she thinks she also likes girls.

So, anyway, all I have been doing in Bangkok is hanging out with celeb actresses and models (all of whom seem to think I am awesome), and will be going to Phuket to hang for free at her hotel while she does bikini shoots… and there is a definite (and believe me I am encouraging it) possibility that she may bring home another hot actress/model…

Obviously, I will never be leaving asia ever again.

Shanghai… to Kunming… to the middle of friggin nowhere

Shanghai was cool… would definitely recommend it if you want to see what will likely be one of the most important cities in the world over the next 50 years. I don’t think I will live there though… its a bit too cold (its fairly far north) and the nightlife was a little less cool than I had hoped… Guangzhou and Shenzhen were better in terms of the people…

So I left there a few days ago and went to Kunming. I have a friend who runs a gold mining exploration company in SouthWest China so I decided to come out here… Kunming is the closest city to where he is. Kunming is the first Chinese city I have been to that is really clean, unpolluted and has a really laid back atmosphere. It has about 4 million people, so is a small city by China standards (but about the size of Toronto almost!!) and is the capital of Yunnan province. Yunnan is just south of Sichuan province for those who like spicy food. If you like nice, clean places where people sit around the lake at night and just hang out, play cards and go for walks/bikerides, Kunming is your place in China.

I only stayed a day in Kunming and then my friend, a few of his geologists, and myself were driven in an SUV for about 9 hours through some of the most ridiculously crazy roads ever… half the way was mud roads, usually just one lane, with tons of big trucks coming down them… the road goes up into these mountains that are just massive, and steeper than any I have seen… virtually straight up… so the road is incredibly windy as we went up the mountains.

We had to stop every now and then for goats, cows, water buffalo and trucks and motorcycles… but my driver this time didn’t hit any motorcycles, which was a nice change… in fact, he was an amazing driver.. there was a few times I thought for sure we would have gone off the cliff, or bottomed out, but he got us through everything… his name is Mr. Wong and he rocks. We even came up to a construction area and they told us we had to wait an hour and a half before we could get through, but Mr. Wong got out and walked up to the bulldozer that was working and gave him a cigarette… the bulldozer then cleared the rocks out of the way so we could get through right away!

The town I am at right now is called Da Qiao. This is the most remote place I have been in Asia… and there aren’t a lot of luxuries… it is cold (cuz it is way up in the mountains) and has been rainy, wet and muddy… there are no heaters in this whole town… and i have an outstanding 50 yuan for anyone who can show me one sit down toilet in this whole city… all that i have seen, including in my hotel, are just a hole in the floor… the girls here must have thighs like a sprinter!

I am currently wearing almost all my clothes, plus have borrowed socks, sweaters and jackets from numerous of the people here… I am just not used to this bone chilling cold… plus I have zero body fat now and it really makes me feel cold.

Luckily the hotel is run by a family with a few teenage daughters that offer massages to help keep me warm at night!

I have been spending parts of my day on the internet planning my next trip and I am definitely going somewhere warm after this… I have Bangkok and then Phuket as my planned next stops… but I won’t book it, I will just go to the airport in Kunming on Wednesday and see what sounds best… I definitely want/need to get to a beach for a few days after this!

I have a few more weeks in Asia and think I will likely try to hit Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia), Jakarta (Indonesia), Saigon (Vietnam) and possibly Taipei (Taiwan) during that time as I haven’t been to any of those places and have always wanted to go.

My Phone Got Shanghaied

Well, my 12 year long streak of never losing my cell phone has come to an end. I am not sure if it was stolen or if I lost it… maybe even Chocolate took it… but the end result is my phone is gone. I called AT&T and cancelled my # in the US as I didn’t really want my LA # anymore anyway… I may get a new phone at some time in the next few weeks and then will just have to decide where to get a #… it will likely be in Canada, HK or China (although Brazil still lingers in my conciousness).

BTW, did you know where the term “shanghaied” came from? Shanghai has an amazing history… about 80 years ago this place was home to people from all over the world… military people from Britain, France, Germany, Japan and others all took up residence here, making this place the most wild, exotic, crazy and interesting city in the world. But the navy’s, and merchant ships had such a hard time getting their sailors to leave and get back on the ship they had to drug them and steal them… that is where the term “Shanghaied” came from.

The way it is going this may be the only way you will ever get me out of here too 😛

Shanghai?!!

Ok, I have only been here for a few minutes but I am already so amazed… like I mentioned below, the skyline and city look amazing…

I am in a very nice hotel, which has high speed wifi and wired internet, for $40 USD a night, and I just ordered room service… Shanghai Noodles (I thought it was apres peau) for $1.30 and Seaweed Soup for $1. ????

I just assumed because Shanghai was a big, metropolitan city, that it would be much more expensive than other parts of China… so far it has been the opposite.

And I just began looking into what is going on here… there is an F1 race tomorrow… tonight at a park they have a 2,000 people, 2 day DJ festival/club… sounds pretty fly… and tons of parties/international DJ’s etc…

And of course there is barely any need to mention the women… dazzling. An amazing, exotic beauty, class, elegance, style, intelligence, and a personality that makes you just want to sit there and watch them all day…

If this keeps up, you likely will rarely ever see me again unless you come visit me, and my concubine, in Shanghai.

Get up, go to airport, pick a city

There is definitely something to be said for living completely spontaneously. I woke up this morning and decided I wanted to go to Beijing or Shanghai… I looked online but couldn’t book anything because it was too short of notice so I just decided to go to the airport. I got here, and walked up to the counter, within 30 seconds I had my ticket to Shanghai for a flight that was leaving right away (and I think I got it even cheaper than what I saw quoted on the internet)… I then walked up to the checkin counter and had my boarding pass in what had to be under 10 seconds (China can be highly efficient sometimes… this is an excellent example).

I just got into Shanghai, walked up to some kiosk at the airport and asked about hotels, they referred me to a nice hotel right downtown with highspeed internet (actually all hotels I have been to in China have high speed it is awesome… much better than San Jose, which is supposedly Silicon Valley, where half the hotels don’t have it and if they do they charge ludicrous amounts for it). I checked on the internet a few days ago and found hotels from around $60-90 USD a night but this hotel is $40… Even when I got to the hotel their listed rate is $60 USD, so just by booking it spontaneously at the airport I saved another $20. I tell ya, never plan anything… going with the flow almost always seems to work.

There is so many little stories I can tell about China… it is such a neat, interesting place. Maybe I’ll just do some in point form

-We left a restaurant the other day without paying by accident (I promise… I am broke but not that broke)… the waitress ran to get us, saying she was sorry numerous times, basically saying, “I am very sorry, but you have forgotten to payâ€?… what a cool country where even when you skip out on the restaurant bill they apologize to you… and I thought Canadians were overly apologetic!

-Numerous times now I have tried to tip at a restaurant or bar… in many cases they just won’t accept it… and on the rare occasion that they do, they usually give me some back, saying that it is too much (usually tip about 10-15%… and in many cases this is like, $1)… and when they do accept it, they usually are so happy and sometimes even give me gifts?!?! Now that is the way tipping was intended… unlike in the United Evil States of America where I have been chastised in places like Vegas for ONLY tipping 15%… btw… if you are a taxi driver or waiter in the US, and you give me completely mundane service and then get angry at me for only tipping 10 or 15%, you should be prepared to be knocked out… I will not be walking away until you are significantly pushed around at the least. Pricks. On that note, I have been pushing people around a lot more than ever before this year… not sure what the deal is… just tired of losers I think.

-If you think China is “communist� and think that there is no free enterprise in this country and it is backward in its ways, think again… this country is incredibly well run, making American style democracy look like a pathetic, unworkable system (which it basically is). It also is more free enterprise, in many ways, than Canada, US and most of Europe. If you are a capitalist, or entrepreneur, you need to get your ass-ets over here

-There are definitely a few areas that need some major improvement here, however. First and foremost is pollution, most major cities have a perpetual haze over them. When Danny first got here he was by himself for 5 days before I arrived. When I got here he said to me that it is really beautiful here, but he was wondering if this fog was normal. I had to be the one to inform him that it ain’t fog. The other things that could use fixing are the way they drive… the only way to describe it is a constant game of chicken. You can go wherever you want, do anything you want, and basically you are challenging one car after another to see who will stop first.

-The service, food quality and overall design of most places I have been to have been impeccable and pretty much better than anywhere I have been, including NYC, HK, Tokyo, London etc.

-The level of intelligence, and overall schooling here is really amazing also. Many of the girls I have been meeting have their MBA’s, Masters in Economics, speak numerous languages etc. Compared to China, North America looks like a bunch of lazy, fat, stupid people (which is kind of how they see us, rightfully so).

That’s it for now… it is Saturday night in Shanghai… btw… WHAT A SKYLINE… this may be the coolest skyline I have ever seen… there is so many interesting buildings, and one of them is a very large office tower… and the ENTIRE thing is a giant TV, I have never seen anything like that. Looking forward to seeing more this evening!

Shanghai Surprise

This is just a quick note as things have been crazy and I am back in Hong Kong, but am now going back to China again.

I am in HK at the moment, working on some deals. For those who are asian or who know asian movie culture, I just kicked Eric Tsang and Jackie Chan’s ass at pool. Actually many times… its the most money I have made in a while. 😛

So, ya, am in HK tonight, for some biz meetings… not sure how much of this I should print, as usual, as most of these biz meetings with celebs and stuff are pretty nuts. Ok, I will print this much… one of the HK movie stars I was hanging with tonight says something about me being from Vancouver and then says something about weed… the next thing I know he challenges me and says, “15 minutes!”… about 30 minutes later (I ribbed him about that big time) he comes up with this huge water bong and weed packaged in professional looking tubular packaging, full with labels on it and everything?!?!? never seen anything like that before.

Anyway, we are at this big round table having a biz meeting, at 1am, and he breaks out this bong…

Ha, anyway, things went downhill from there… I totally don’t like weed so I abstained, but it was very funny none the less.

But, ya, just another day of biz in HK… now I am going back to Panyu for a day, golfing with the Governor of that province on Friday… I can’t tell you what we are doing exactly there as it hasn’t been announced yet, but it is a big movie studio development…

And then I am back in Guangzhou for one night, visiting a girl named Chocolate who I met but couldn’t spend more time with because I was with the President’s daughter the last time I was there (see below).

And then on Saturday I am going to Shanghai for a while.

So, as usual, never a dull moment… but man I need sleep big time. I seriously could use a week on the beach in Koh Samui or Philippines and will be looking for any excuse to get there soon.

Shenzhen, then and again

This may be the biggest place you’ve never heard of. More people live here than New York city. It has more factories than the US Midwest; a skyscraper taller than the Empire State Building; the busiest port in China.

I came here in 1996 and it was NOTHING like this. In fact, 15 years ago, it was just a bunch of rice fields! The Chinese Government decided they want to build this megametropolis to show the world it could… well, they could and did.

It was actually not very nice here at all in 1996… dirty, grimy, poor and a million poor people on bicycles. How things have changed! The skyline is now dotted with giant, all brand new, skyscrapers… the streets are treed and nice, and the great majority of people here look like they are happy, content and have a good income.

The changes are mind boggling. Imagine if in 1990 you were in Manhattan, and it was just a few dirt roads and some farms, then you came back now and NYC was there?? Ya. It’s like that.

This country is one amazing place to be right now. So much so that it may have topped Brazil as my #1 possible place I may stay for a while. I have to be in North America in November (will likely stop in Vancouver for a few days, then NYC, possibly Toronto)… after that I will have to make a decision… Brazil, or back to Asia.. or even possibly Canada (for biz). It will be a very tough decision… I may just end up getting a small place in Brazil, and a small place in Shanghai, and spend 6 months in each place each year… but the thought of that plane ride in between them is almost too much to handle.

I am back in Hong Kong for most of this week on biz. Looking at an entertainment company with some great inroads into China who I may help take public. One of the companies they own is a model/talent agency and I think they were joking when they said maybe I should run that for them… they don’t know this, but they would never have to pay me and even if they fired me I would never leave that job 😛

I will likely pop out to Macau for a day too during the week… will be interesting to see that again too as I hear it is becoming the Las Vegas of Asia with huge developments.

After the weekend I will have about 2 more weeks until I am back in North America so will have some more tough decisions… I am thinking maybe Shanghai, then Thailand and the Phillipines… but we will see!

Oh, on a final note about Guangzhou… that is a great place to visit also! I went to a club there yesterday that was way nicer than pretty much any club I have ever seen in North America… pretty cool. One weird thing about Guangzhou is there are a lot of black guys there… most from Africa, some from France… I am not sure what the deal is but there are lots… way more than white people… wasn’t expecting to see that. One guy I met, named Jeff also, from Africa said he was there doing textile exporting to Africa… but then he later tried to sell me hashish, so not so sure how legit his textile story was. 😛

Ok, this is why you read my blog

I may have officially hit Hubbert’s Peak of Craziness this weekend. I was in Guangzhou, China… went to a club… not exactly sure of all the details but I met this girl who looks like an HK movie star… had a really nice night with her… then the next day she sent her “driver” to pick me up to go to dinner with her…

So her car came… was an SUV… but it was all painted in camoflauge… but not regular camo.. sort of like a modern, trendy camo…

Driving was a military guy in full army outfit… but when I got in, the inside was all honged out… stuffed toys everywhere… that was pretty much the largest contrast I have ever seen… camo’d communist military vehicle, army driver and hello kittys hanging off everything inside.

The funniest part was that this driver drove like he owned the road (which I guess I suppose he did)… he would literally be driving down a highway and my little princess girlfriend would change her mind on which restaurant she wanted to go to, and he would hit the brakes… stop… we would talk for a few minutes while hundreds of cars came to a screeching halt… yet, no one honked (actually the entire time i was in the vehicle no one even passed us)… He would then U-Turn, cutting off other cars who had to lock up their brakes.. but again, no honking or anythin, lol

She then took me to dinner, fed me manually with chopsticks, asking me only what I wanted and how much… kept telling me I look like “beekhum” (beckham)…

I could go on about how ridiculous the last few days have been but that should be enough for you to think, “uh, wtf?”… seriously if you want more info, I’ve got tons more interesting stories related to this… most are not G-rated though so not suitable for this page…

Anyway, I mentioned I will be in Shenzen next week… and will be golfing there… she told me her “dad” will be there next week too and he likes golfing… if her/his last name is Jiamen I will have many more interesting stories next week… including my advice to him on the upcoming attack on Taiwan…

Who knows, in a few months I could possibly be the successor to the communist throne… chinese checkers? chinese check this out!