It’s been a month since I posted anything… and that can only mean one of three things: I’m dead…. I’m in Thailand… or I’m in Acapulco.
It turns out, I’m in Acapulco. After Poland I made a one night stopover in Brussels and flew straight back to beautiful Acapulco.
I haven’t been doing a heck of a lot. At the pool, the gym, the discos… watching these amazing markets, which I’ve basically been predicting now for the last 3 years and all seems to be coming to a head now.
Other than that, it somewhat seems like I’ve been awakening lately from a 4 year – maybe even a 10 year – dream. For at least the last 4 years I let myself go… explored… tried anything and everything… and I think I went a bit too far.
But in the last few months I have started to realize it is time for a change. Time to get back to reality… to ground myself again. I started sensing it a while ago… people looked at me strangely… I couldn’t really connect with anyone…
Recently I’ve been lucky enough to have a few people tell me that I need to get regrounded and I now realize that is exactly what I need to do.
This doesn’t mean I will be less fun… it only means I will be more grounded and make more real connections with people rather than superficial, usually drunken, connections. I’ve let alcohol medicate my tendency to shyness and to have real connections for too long now and it is time to get rid of that crutch. For too long I’ve held too much inside…
I’ve learned more about myself in the last few months than I’ve learned in the last 15 years and there is a lot that needs improving… and I will do it.
Along with these changes I also have some other major decisions to make in the coming days. There is a beautiful 5 month year old little girl in Thailand who doesn’t have a daddy right now… It’s a huge decision but I am close to making it in the coming days. I may go to Thailand to see her before I decide. Or I may just stay here in Mexico and work on rebuilding my body and mind after a very long vacation from reality.
The path I will take is unknown for the moment but in the coming days I will have to make a choice. Either way it will be a good change. It’s time.