Australia Sucks

I flew from Bali to Sydney to play in some Asia Pacific Poker Tour tourneys. I remember Australia as being expensive but it seems even more expensive this time around… especially Sydney. The AUS government is expanding the money supply at banana-republic levels for the last few years (around 25% currently), so price increases are starting to get ridiculous (and will get out of control – hyperinflation – in the next few years, along with most other countries as the coordinated currency collapses, and conversion to new currencies such as the Amero in North America are instituted by the banking elite who control most of the world – much like they did in 1929 in order to create the Great Depression in order to gain more control over money).

I went to a 7-11 three times in my first 2 days in Sydney… just to buy some snacks, drinks and general items for the hotel room. EACH trip cost me $50 AUD ($45 USD)!!! The exact same basket of goods in Thailand would have cost $3-7 per trip!!

The casinos here are run by the government (anything run by the government is, in reality, communist) and therefore are horribly run. Most wait lists to get on a table were 3-5 hours… and they had a million stupid rules. No hats… no ipods… etc etc etc.

In fact, Australia seems to have more rules than any other country on the planet I have visited. There are signs outlining rules everywhere. I was even on a street that had a street-sign denoting that particular street as being an alcohol-free street. No alcohol is allowed to be consumed or even carried on that street?? I presume that even includes inside the houses on that street by the way it was written!!!!!!!

Everywhere I go, people are yelling at each other… usually because they didn’t follow some of the rules enough…

I rented a car and drove up from Sydney to the Gold Coast after I couldn’t handle Sydney anymore (I left before any of the tournaments even started as I was going insane there)… every single car was doing EXACTLY the speed limit, or less… and even if you would go from a 90 zone to an 80 km/h zone, as soon as you hit the 80 zone, everyone would slam on their brakes to immediately go 80. There were signs every mile stating that you are being watched by cameras. There were thousands of expensive billboards, all paid for by the government, telling you how speed kills… how they will take away your license if you speed, and even telling you basic driving tips. Thanks Australian government for educating me!! And, of course, because of all these rules trying to make people do things that aren’t natural, I saw numerous accidents… something I’ve never seen in Thailand or China, or anywhere without these bizarre rule systems.

The one fun part about being here has been being with Jane though. It’s so fun to get her take on things. For example, she rarely has driven in a car on trips… something most of us have done countless times, so to her everything is kinda new. For example, from time to time there will be a sign saying ‘Watch for Kangaroos, or Koala Bears, for the next 5 km’. Jane would be watching like it was a complete guarantee. At the end of the 5 kilometres, she would be so depressed and angry we didn’t see any. She’d shout out, “Bullshit Australia government!� and she was genuinely angry at them for lying to her… after we had gone through numerous ‘watch for animal’ zones and seen nothing, Jane became jaded and everytime we saw a sign from them on she would shout out, “bulllllllshit!� and cross her arms in disgust. Lol.

Another time, we were hungry so I pulled into a McDonalds drive-thru. Jane was confused at first, “What’s this??�… I was like, “Uh, it’s McDonalds�… she remained confused… when I began to order she got all excited… “Oh, this is like in the movies!!!�… I was like, “What in the world are you talking about?�… she said, “This!!!� as she got out her camera… it took me a while to figure it out, but she had never gone through a drive-thru before… haha… to her it was really exciting!

Anyway, we stopped in a quaint little surf town called Byron Bay for the night on the way north. We went to its popular nightclub called the Cheeky Monkey. As per usual, in Australia, it was 85% guys and the 15% that were female were monstrous. All the guys drink themselves stupid just to try to have a good time…There were numerous fist fights while we were there as the pent-up sexual repression turns into aggression.

There, again, the rules were beyond ridiculous… you couldn’t order a double… you couldn’t buy the bartendress a drink… had to stand in certain denoted lines… there were certain areas only for dancing… etc etc etc.

Then we headed north to Surfer’s Paradise. Of all the places I have been in Australia, Surfer’s Paradise has the best vibe… the nightlife is decent (anywhere else it would be atrocious, but in Australia it is like an oasis in the desert). It is mainly because most of the revelers are foreigners.

The quality of everything is terrible in Australia. Every hotel… every restaurant… every club… every place, was low quality, run down and the service was beyond terrible… pretty much what you would expect in a communist country.

We went to a Sizzler restaurant here… mostly because the Sizzler in Bangkok is really, really good and Jane likes it a lot… we couldn’t believe the ‘quality’ of the food… I was actually surprised they had the gall to serve it. Jane’s calamari was grey and looked like it had been run over by a garbage truck… the french fries were cold… the bread was stale. Jane couldn’t understand how the quality in Australia could be so much worse… I explained to her that Australia is a communist police state and how Thailand is a land of freedom, and how that affects everything.

The funniest part about here is, Aussies are highly xenophobic. They look at immigrants with great disdain, as they want to keep their ugliness, poor quality and bad attitudes all to themselves. So, in a place like Sydney, you can sometimes wait hours in lines to get a taxi, because there aren’t enough people willing to drive taxis there… in fact, most places had huge line-ups as there just wasn’t enough service people anywhere to serve the customers. As always, the Aussies all lined-up in their queues as though it was just normal to wait hours for anything.

I really don’t know why I came here… it is like every time I go to Europe… as soon as I get there I begin thinking, “why the hell did I come here again?!?!”…

Today I booked a flight to, guess where! Bangkok… the greatest city in the world… and I realize it more and more every time I leave it. Now if they just had better surfing and casinos in Thailand, you would never see me anywhere else again.