A homeowner?

Don’t get any crazy ideas. This doesn’t mean I am settling down. It just means there is a room somewhere on the beach in Mexico full of high end electronics and high speed internet connectivity.

I officially moved into Part I of the Berwick Life Plan today. Part II and possibly III and IV will likely soon follow, where I will get similar accommodations set up in, most likely, Thailand and down the road, perhaps a small lodging at a South American ski resort for snowboarding excursions and possibly a place somewhere in Eastern Europe such as Estonia or Kazakhstan just to ensure I have facilities on nearly every continent as home bases when in the region.

But Part I was completed on Friday when I moved into my seaside enclave in Acapulco. As usual I wasted no time.

I awoke Saturday morning with the intention of ‘picking up a few things’. I went downstairs to speak with the resort manager and he suggested that he send me out with one of his staff… it’ll be easier that way, he said, because I “look a little too gringo.� He was suggesting that I may end up getting some bad deals so he asked Enrique to drive me around for the day.

Just having a guy drive me from place to place and know all the best places would have been excellent on its own. But this guy was no slouch! He questioned, bargained and haggled for everything. It almost felt like I was barely part of the process except for the odd “si� or “no� for any questions. And he would carry all the stuff for me, open doors for me and everything!?

Helper friends of his even seemed to pop out of nowhere at just the right times to help carry stuff out to waiting vehicles which he arranged for delivery.

Considering all the effort and trouble it would have been to do this all on my own, I thought, I might as well get almost every single thing I need today while I have my own personal assistant!

Nearly maxing out my credit card (and that is saying a lot) and a few hours later we returned to my condo where all those delivery guys were waiting patiently outside my door with boxes and boxes of stuff.

There was a large flatscreen LCD monitor, full surround sound system, Xbox, Fridge and a new air conditioning system (which Enrique told me they would install ‘manana’!) amongst other things.

And that was just the stuff we could take today. Still to come were the bed, sofa, chairs, tables and other miscellaneous items in a few days from the warehouse.

The condo was still full of all the really ugly furniture from the previous owners. The guys who delivered all the stuff asked me if I wanted to get rid of all of it. I happily said yes, please! They responded, “no problema� and an army of Mexicanos emptied my place of its horrid furnishings within minutes.

And so, by mid-day on the first day I moved into my condo, it is almost all fully furnished and ready to go!

I had to ask Enrique how much I owed all those guys for delivering all my stuff for me and he was almost embarrassed to tell me $25. I obviously tipped Enrique much more than that, as well as the helpers. Enrique’s haggling alone likely saved me hundreds of dollars and the value of not having to lift a finger the entire day was worth a lot to me! I just love the attitude here in Mexico as opposed to the vile residents of places like Las Vegas where no tip is good enough and where service is rarely of the exceptional variety. And even if the service is done well it is almost always solely to get a big tip whereas, in places like Mexico, people do good jobs for the sole reward of having performed a job well done.

I was already in a great mood but it gets even better! I asked the condo manager about setting up a satellite dish to get Canadian HDTV. If you asked that anywhere in Camerica the initial response would almost certainly be an insta-no. However, in the land of the free, his response was, “Ya sure, whatever you want. We can set it all up for you. We can even buy all the equipment for you,� and he went on to tell me that a French Canadian guy in the building already set-up a satellite and that if it is the same one I want that I could possibly even just tap into that! So, if it is the same one, I could even have my sat tv all up and running in a matter of days too.

Everything in places like Mexico and Thailand is just all so nice and easy. It’s like bizarro world compared to living in unionized, over-regulated, socialist welfare states such as most of the anglosphere. I’m just so used to hearing ‘no’ that it is always so refreshing to be in a place where 99.9% of the time the answer is yes… or, more specifically, “si� or “chai�.

Even as I write this blog I had to go to the door and fight off the maid (apparently I get daily room cleaning included in the price of my condo fees… go ask about that at your condo office in Camerica and see what kind of response you get!). She had just cleaned it thoroughly yesterday during the few minutes when I had left the apartment and so I told her I didn’t need anything. She wouldn’t take no for an answer. I was like, no, I don’t really need anything cleaned today. She kept asking and looking around, managing to peer past my shoulder to see a garbage can with something in it and pointing excitedly, “la basura senior, limpieza!� (roughly translated: the garbage sir, I clean�)

I finally had to let her clean something as she would not allow my place to go uncleaned for the day. She thanked me profusely.

Between being taken care of by my crazy Thai gf poolside in Bangkok and service and amenities like this in Acapulco, I foresee myself quickly getting way too comfortable. Don’t worry, I won’t let more than a month go by before I pull up Google Maps and hit the road!